Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize