Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Everything about him screamed your future.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
