Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
