its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
