I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
