all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
