I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
That's intense
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
