well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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