girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
