Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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