shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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