Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize