I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
