she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
