I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
