Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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