I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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