real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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