This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
