really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
