That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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