If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
