I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
