So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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