shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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