Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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