you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
