just tell him i said nine months
Its about making memories worth repressing
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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