There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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