if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
