Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
