she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
you never un-have a 4some
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
