i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just wanna soil my oats bro
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
