just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's shark week go big or go home
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
