I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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