Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm bleeding and have questions
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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