i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
