It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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