Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
