so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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