im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
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She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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