i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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