Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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