Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There's always time for handjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize