"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.