Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Terrible idea I love it
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.