Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
