he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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