Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
