the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
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I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
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Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down