You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list