While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.