their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.