Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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