she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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