her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Randomize
