Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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