Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
