the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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