That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
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Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.