my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
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Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
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I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name