yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.