it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
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I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
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There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all