I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
