shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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