Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
